Faking it?

I don't know if anyone else saw this or not, but at about 6:10 this evening, someone had changed the tag line on the LGBT lunch today to "The effects of being a fag." The tagline has been changed back. Now, I don't know if this was an MSI or otherwise, but I do know that it is not only RUDE but also incredibly disrespectful.

Is that person faking it? Because so far, I have been impressed by the openness and empathy shown by our class as a whole.

I think most of us would agree that as physicians, we will encounter people of all races, sexual orientations, ethnicities, ages, etc. Part of the choice of entering this career should have included an oath to treat all people regardless of their demographic information.

If your beliefs go against someone else's sexual orientation, fine. You are entitled to those beliefs.

However, it is completely and totally inappropriate and immature to mock an event that someone else has organized to increase caring and awareness about an issue important to ALL of us. Whoever you are, you should be ashamed.

Gender identity

The great discussion we've had today about transgender issues reminds me of a book I read several years ago: As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl by John Colapinto. Fascinating and disturbing, this story has definitely influenced my views on the nature of gender identity and human sexuality. Here's the Publisher's Weekly summary (which says it better than I could say myself):

Forget sugar, spice, snails and puppy dog tails: discussions of how little boys and little girls are made have become quite complicated over the past three decades, as scientists, feminists and social theorists debate the relative impact of "nature" and "nurture" on gender and sexual identity. Focusing on the real-life story behind sexologist Dr. John Money's famous sexual reassignment case of 1965, Colapinto, an award-winning journalist, has penned a gripping medical melodrama.

After Bruce Thiessen, one of two identical male twins, lost his penis during a botched circumcision, he underwent surgery that made him anatomically female, later received estrogen injections and was raised as a girl under Money's supervision at the Psychohormonal Research Unit at Johns Hopkins. All of Money's reports of the case--which quickly appeared in textbooks as a prime example of environment trumping biology--portrayed Bruce (now Brenda) as a well-adjusted girl, although the reality was quite different. Angry, sullen and having always insisted that "she" was a boy, Brenda finally decided at age 15--after "she" finally learned of the surgery-to revert to her original sex and take the name David.

Drawing on extensive interviews with the Thiessen family, "Brenda"'s therapists and friends, Colapinto has written a wrenching personal narrative and a scathing indictment of Money's methods and theories, including instances of what Colapinto and David Thiessen see as extraordinarily invasive behavior and sexual abuse in his xaminations of "Brenda" and her twin brother. Although Colapinto runs into trouble when he tries to generalize about nature vs. nurture from this single case, his book is illuminating, frightening and moving.

Leaving an impression....

What kind of impression do you think our class leaves on the guest speakers we have?

A large majority of our class today during social medicine had their computers open, though no note taking or following along was necessary. Others studying various subjects that are piling up (we would all like more study time), some even had ear buds in their ears. I will be the first to admit, sometimes the lectures are hard to follow, and their relevance seem so distant it is hard to care, BUT, the people who come speak to us are alot smarter than we are, and have taken time out of their schedules to attempt to enlighten us with some tidbits of info that may, or may not be pertinent in the future. The least we could do is pretend to pay attention, and not talk to our neighbor until the presentation is over, yes, OVER means the person giving the presentation has stopped talking, not that you have stopped listening.
I don't want to be critical, but I will admit I was embarrassed today. In 15 years one of us could be asked to speak to the first year medical students, would you want to be standing in front of 100 disrespectful ass holes? Or would you hope they at least had the maturity, and common decency to at least pretend they wanted to hear what you were saying?

Sorry for the venting, but I just needed to get it off my chest.....isn't that what the blog is for???

Democracy & Human Rights Festival

The Salt Lake City Film Center is having a Democracy and Human Rights Film Festival this week. The schedule is below. I'm probably going to be going to quite a few of them (I also volunteer for the Film Center) if anyone is interested in going with me. I'm fairly certain all screenings are free.

If you can only make one, I'd suggest going to Shut Up & Sing, the Dixie Chicks' documentary about the controversy that erupted after Natalie Maines said she was ashamed that Bush is from Texas (by the way, Bush was born in Connecticut). NBC has been in the news lately for refusing to air ads for the movie.

DEMOCRACY AND HUMAN RIGHTS FESTIVAL

Wed Nov 1 WESTMINSTER COLLEGE, VIEVE GORE CONCERT HALL, EMMA ECCLES JONES CONSERVATORY, 1840 S 1300 E (NW corner of campus)
7pm HOME FRONT (94 min)
Directed by: Richard Hankin; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: Coming home is half the battle. HOME FRONT gets behind the complexities of a family beginning again after a son comes home from Iraq disabled.
Presenting Partners: National Ability Center and Splore
Producer Meredith Lavitt Williams will be at the screening to discuss the movie.

Thur Nov 2 Broadway Theatre, 111 E Broadway, SLC
7pm DIXIE CHICKS: Shut Up & Sing (93 min)
Directed by: Barbara Kopple, Cecilia Peck; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: The personal attacks, a changing world, making music, having babies, receiving death threats, and even a fair amount of laughter. Like the title of their hit single, The Dixie Chicks are not ready to make nice quite yet.

Fri Nov 3 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
1pm FOUR SHORT DOCUMENTARIES:

RIGHTS ON THE LINE (25 min)
Produced by: WITNESS; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: This film exposes the ugly anti-immigrant politics that lurk behind the Minuteman Project and shows the continuum between official border militarization and vigilante action.

OUTLAWED: Extraordinary Rendition, Torture And Disappearances In The 'War On Terror” (27 min)
Produced by: WITNESS; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: The stories of two men who have survived extraordinary rendition, secret detention, and torture by the U.S. government. Featuring relevant commentary from President George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice, the U.S. Secretary of State.

WAR OF AGRESSION: Bush Crimes Commission Hearings (28 min)
Produced by: Commission of Inquiry on Crimes Against Humanity Committed by the Bush Administration; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: A compelling moral condemnation of the Bush regime. We know that it is the most demented, lawless, contemptible of human life, and egregiously evil government in the history of the Republic -- Here is proof. You’ll see evidence and substance in the form of stunning testimony from eyewitnesses and experts on torture, global warming and HIV/AIDS that this regime is guilty of war crimes and crimes against humanity.

Fri Nov 3 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
3pm THE POWER OF NIGHTMARES: The Rise of the Politics of Fear (180 min)
Directed by: Adam Curtis; Country: UK; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2004
Tagline: A fascinating three hour BBC series that looks at the how the failure of the liberal state and Great Society gave rise to Neo- Conservativism in the United States and Radical Fundamentalism in the Middle East. The series argues that for the first time in the history of the western world our leaders and media rule by fear instead of hope and that this could be the end of democracy and enlightenment.


Fri Nov 3 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
7pm THE LAND OF THE BLIND (110 min)
Directed by: Robert Edwards; Country: UK/USA; Language: English; Genre: Drama; Year: 2006
Tagline: A soldier recounts his relationship with a famous political prisoner attempting to overthrow their country's totalitarian government. Starring Ralph Fiennes and Donald Sutherland.

Fri Nov 3 JUAN DIEGO HIGH SCHOOL, 300 E 11800 S, Draper
7pm GOLDEN VENTURE (70 min)
Directed by: Peter Cohn; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: This film chronicles the struggles of passengers who were aboard the Golden Venture, an immigrant smuggling ship that ran aground near New York City in 1993. The Golden Venture crash fed a media circus and became a symbol of a growing national concern over illegal immigration.

Sat Nov 4 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
12pm SENTENCED HOME (76 min)
Directed by: David Grabias, Nicole Newnham; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: After settling in Seattle in the ’80s, three Cambodian refugees were drawn into gang life and ultimately ended up in jail. In the wake of 9/11, Cambodia was pressured to change their policy against accepting deportees, so now these Cambodian Americans are faced with leaving their families and returning to a land they barely know.

Sat Nov 4 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
1:30pm REDS – 25th Anniversary Edition (194 min)
Directed by: Warren Beatty; Country: USA; Language: English/Russian/German; Genre: Biography/Drama; Year: 1981
Tagline: A radical American journalist becomes involved with the Communist revolution in Russia and hopes to bring its spirit and idealism to the United States. Winner of 3 Academy Awards and featuring an all-star cast including Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson.

Sat Nov 4 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
5pm IN THE FACE OF EVIL: Reagan’s War in Word and Deed
(110min)
Directed by: Stephen K. Bannon, Tim Watkins; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2004
Tagline: Chronicles Ronald Reagan’s crusade to destroy “the most tyrannical and depraved political system the world has ever known” and the rise of neo-conservative foreign policy.
Producer McKay Daines will be at the screening to discuss the movie.

Sat Nov 4 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
7:30pm MR. CONSERVATIVE: Goldwater on Goldwater (90 min)
Directed by: Julie Anderson; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: This biographical documentary, illuminated by interviews with major public figures and never-before-seen home movies and photos, takes a look back on the man, his morals, his missteps ... and his enduring legacy as "Mr. Conservative."

Sat Nov 4 JUAN DIEGO HIGH SCHOOL, 300 East 11800 South, Draper
7pm BETWEEN TWO FIRES (14 min)
Produced by: WITNESS; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: Two decades of armed conflict between the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) and the Ugandan government in Northern Uganda has led to civilians being displaced from their homes, rampant abuse and gross violations of human rights.

Sat Nov 4 JUAN DIEGO HIGH SCHOOL, 300 East 11800 South, Draper
7:15pm INVISIBLE CHILDREN (55 min)
Directed by: Jason Russell; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: When three young American filmmakers’ travels take a turn and they find themselves stranded in Northern Uganda, they discover children being kidnapped nightly from their homes and forced to fight as child soldiers. Through their eyes, we see the terror of abduction, courage of survival, the heartbreak of losing a brother, and innate joy - found only in a child.

Sun Nov 5 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
1pm STEALING AMERICA VOTE BY VOTE (68 min)
Directed by: Dorothy Fadiman; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: This film documents significant irregularities in the Presidential election of 2004 while underscoring the fact that election fraud and reform are not partisan issues. The 2004 Election ignited both personal and political passions for millions of people. For many, their involvement did not end when the election was over.
Director Dorothy Fadiman, Former Emery County Clerk Bruce Funk and Community Activist Barbara Bellows-TerraNova will be on hand for a discussion following the screening.

Sun Nov 5 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
3pm GROUND TRUTH: After The Killing Ends (78 min)
Directed by: Patricia Foulkrod; Country: USA; Language: English; Genre: Documentary; Year: 2006
Tagline: This film takes an unflinching look at the training and dehumanization of US soldiers, and how they struggle to come to terms when they come back home.
Co-presented by MILITARY FAMILIES AGAINST THE WAR and UTAH MILITARY FAMILIES SPEAK OUT who will be at the screening for a discussion.

Mon Nov 6 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
4pm We will be screening the FOUR SHORT DOCUMENTARIES shown on Friday again for those who might have missed them. Please see film details from Monday.
SHORTS: RIGHTS ON THE LINE; OUTLAWED: Extraordinary Rendition, Torture And Disappearances In The 'War On Terror”; PERVERSION OF JUSTICE; WAR OF AGRESSION: Bush Crimes Commission Hearings.

Mon Nov 6 CITY LIBRARY AUDITORIUM, 210 E 400 S
7pm Temma Martin, immigration activist, will give a 10 min pre-film presentation

CROSSING ARIZONA (97 min) (Spanish Language Series)
Directed by: Joseph Matthew and Dan DeVivo; Country: USA; Language: English/Spanish Genre: Documentary; Year: 2005
Tagline: With Americans on all sides of the immigration issue up in arms and Congress embroiled in a knock-down-drag-out policy battle over how to move forward, CROSSING ARIZONA shows how we got to where we are today.
Director Dan DeVivo will introduce and discuss his new film.

Historical Comparison

(AP) JERUSALEM Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert on Friday compared Iran's nuclear ambitions and threats against Israel with the policies of Nazi Germany and criticized world leaders who maintain relations with Iran's president.

Olmert's speech during a ceremony at Israel's national Holocaust memorial came after a new report that Iran has doubled its capability to enrich uranium — a process that can produce material for nuclear power reactors or weapons.

Israel has identified Iran as the greatest threat to the Jewish state. Israel's concerns have heightened since the election of Iran's hard-line president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who frequently calls for the destruction of Israel and has questioned whether the Nazi genocide of 6 million Jews took place.

"We hear echoes of those very voices that started to spread across the world in the 1930s," Olmert said in his speech at the Yad Vashem memorial.

New Restaraunt

So we'll call it "Anatomeal." The tables will be in the shape of a cochlea. The chairs will resemble the incus, malleus, and stapes. The waiters will wear hats shapes like the glans penis. The waitresses will joke their names are Mary Ovary. The entrees will have really appetizing names like Trapizza, Sertoli Maccaroni, Bregma Beer, Jugular Mug, Brachial Steak-ial etc. The managers will wear spandex body suits like Slim Goodbody did.

Or do I need to go to bed and stop thinking about the human body...

TidBitz

“There have been some medical schools in which somewhere along the assembly line, a faculty member has informed the students, not so much by what he said but by what he did, that there is an intimate relation between curing and caring.”

--Ashley Montagu

“Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.”

--Abe Lemons

“To have a group of cloistered clinicians away completely from the broad current of professional life would be bad for teacher and worse for student. The primary work of a professor of medicine in a medical school is in the wards, teaching his pupils how to deal with patients and their diseases.”

--William Osler

Hey Brad or Billie...

Do you guys know how to make things look more snazzy on here? Like a big red "U" or something...some type of personalization. Something...you know....sNazZy jaZZy...

Spheres of Altruism

I'd treat him. I'd be in violation of the Hippocratic Oath if I didn't. That wasn't the focus of my comments. Plugging all this into medicine requires a higher altruism on the part of the physician and in the clinic I would be obliged to help this man any way I could. I would have to abandon any pretenses and seek the health of the individual. I have no qualms about operating in that neutral vacuum. But I would likely avoid him otherwise.

Medicine transcends all the politics of this issue. (Think of the Red Cross--they treat people on the battlefield and elsewhere that they don't support or particularly agree with--and have done so for years.) If this man showed up in the ER or in my clinic I would not hesitate to offer him the best care I could...

I guess the distillation of what I think is that I don't think a known Nazi prison guard (a true member of the infamous Waffen-SS) hiding his identity and "hiding behind a panel under the basement stairs at his family's home" deserves much more than deportation. Of course I am not a judge, but I don't have to be a judge to have a very strong opinion of this man and his past. I support the decision that the judges (those who really have the authority to deport this man) have made.

I suppose his choice to participate in barbaric genocide compromised his own humanity to some extent. I think most people would describe people like Johann as "monsters," a term devoid of humanity. I mean, how much innocent life do you have to snuff out before your own life is subject to drastic, irreversible consequences?

All criminals maintain their humanity. It doesn't change the fact that they should answer for what they have done. I do NOT believe that a man like Mr. Leprich should enjoy the freedoms of a nation that: 1) he fought against in the World War, 2) affords its citizens the rights that he was taking from the Jews, 3) "hold[s] these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." I think Johann was under the impression that all men and women were created equal, unless of course they weren't Aryan.

There are consequences to choices made in life. In medicine, we don't concern ourselves with them. We gladly treat the masses--the rapists, DUI-ers, murderers, and robbers alike. Yet as a citizen of this nation I think deportation of a man obviously hiding from his dark, sinister past is entirely appropriate. I think the fact that Romania, Hungary and Germany also refused to accept him sends a strong message about the world's tolerance, even still, for what happened in Germany in the 1940's.

Studying and Drunken Sex

Here's a gem:

"Studying in med school is a lot like being really drunk and then trying to have sex; you don't ever really finish, you just sort of do what you can and then pass out after awhile."

:O)

Art & Anatomy

I don't know how many of us attended the lecture on Wed. given by a radiologist, but he showed this image from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel where God is touching the finger of Adam. You might have noticed the strange shape God and the surrounding angels are encompassed by. The artist, Michelangelo, was also an anatomist and encased God in the shape of the corpus callosum to symbolize God's gift of the brain and thought to man.

Coincidental Irony

"...That we must never forgive would seem to follow from the same stern logic. For if we forgive, it will be a sign to those in the future that they can act without fear of punishment, and that the world has a moral escape valve labeled 'forgiveness' that permits evil not only to survive but to thrive...Forgiveness becomes a 'weak' virtue, one that Christians seem particularly prone to champion, and one that always carries the possibility of condoning, rather than constricting, the spread of evil." -Robert McAfee Brown

"Our many Jewish friends and acquaintances are being taken away in droves. The Gestapo is treating them very roughly and transporting them in cattle cars to Westerbork, the big camp in Drenthe to which they're sending all the Jews....If it's that bad in Holland, what must it be like in those faraway and uncivilized places where the Germans are sending them? We assume that most of them are being murdered. The English radio says they're being gassed." - Anne Frank

"'Do you see that chimney over there? See it? Do you see those flames? (Yes, we did see the flames.) Over there-that's where you're going to be taken. That's your grave, over there.' ...Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed....Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never." -Elie Weisel in Night (Chapter 3, pg. 32)

"When I came to power, I did not want the concentration camps to become old age pensioners homes, but instruments of terror." - Adolf Hitler

"The world must know what happened, and never forget." - General Eisenhower, while visiting Nazi death camps, 1945.

"A thousand years will pass and the guilt of Germany will not be erased" - Hans Frank, the Nazi governor of Poland.


I am not sure it is appropriate (and it wasn't my intention) to use simplistic ideas about the Golden Rule to address the incomprehensible horror of the Holocaust. And I am not sure if I understand your post. Are you taking the side of a Nazi war criminal?

Those posts just happened to end up next to each other on the page. I think about many different things that happen to be VERY different from one another. This simple coincidence would have been defeated had someone else posted between the times of my two posts. There was no connection between those posts.

I will be the first to say that anyone who can unquestionably forgive a Nazi prison guard (in the spirit of my post: like a school boy forgiving his friend for mistreating him on the playground) is a better wo/man than I.

Exercising the Golden Rule in our daily lives (i.e. my post) and exercising it in reference to the Holocaust is like comparing a bicycle to a diesel truck.

Any look into the Nazi regime (i.e. Hermann Goering, Alfred Speer, Rudolf Hess, Henrich Himmler, Josef Goebbles, and Hitler himself) conjures feelings of such disgust that the summation of all kindergarten lessons taught about the Golden Rule would not suffice in addressing what happened.

As for your ideas about his motives--they are just that--ideas. Either of us would be only speculating as to what he actually did or how he felt about it. You may be right, he may be ashamed. Or it could be quite the opposite.

Going with the numerous accounts that I have read, footage I have viewed, and the crown jewel--my trip to the Holocaust museum in DC... I would say that the odds are against him being "a good father and husband" who "take[s] care of the family he loves."

Nazis haven't been great family men. According to William Shirer in "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" Nazis were thugs from the beginning. Josef Goebbles murdered his five children and wife because he couldn't fathom them living in a country without socialism (though Nazi socialism wasn't TRUE socialism.) An unforgettable portrayal of this is seen in Downfall (an academy award-nominated German film.)

The followers of the Nazi regime (notably the Wehrmacht) were gradually brought on board gradually. Himmler (founder of the Waffen-SS and Einsatzgruppen who were extermination squads) had to know that his thugs were devoted. Extensive conditioning was necessary. (pg 69, Masters of Death, Richard Rhodes). They were taught these things...slowly internalizing radical anti-semitism and unrestrained brutality.

This was not a spur of the moment thing. This was not shoplifting or a bar fight. These were calculated, deliberate emotions and actions. Elie Weisel tells of Nazi prison guards tossing Jewish babies into the air for machine gun target practice.

Any doubt of their unrepentant, arrogant behavior can be evidenced in virtually any account of the Nuremburg trials where the Nazis were put on trial. They all plead not guilty...despite the irrefutable evidence.

I met a woman from Germany whose family was killed during the Holocaust. I think she would cringe at any attempt to excuse, sympathize or trivialize the Nazis' unthinkable acts. I tend to react in the same way.

I think the extent of the dignity of the Nazis can be summed up in the way their leader Hitler ended up. He bit down on a poison pill, shot himself in the head, and then had his assistants torch his body in the back of his bunker with gasoline.

By the way, the included photo is from Mauthausen, where this Johann Leprich worked.

final organ concert

Sunday is the last night of the free organ concert series at Cathedral of the Madeleine 8PM :)

An Open Letter of Apology

My Dear Fellow Classmates,

I would like to extend my sincerest apologies for my behavior during recent sessions of our Physical Diagnosis class. I was somewhat surprised this afternoon when a classmate asked me whether or not I fell asleep with my head on the table in Physical Diagnosis. I originally denied this, after all, in the large class sessions I fall asleep slumped down in my chair and I’m only “resting my eyes”. However, she said it was during the group discussions, and so I accepted fault. And then she said there was an email sent out to the entire class.

After reading said email, I felt really bad. Because even though the email was not strictly about me, to quote another person who called me later that day (blonde, from Salt Lake proper, likes to ski, and meows randomly), I made up half of it.

No, not the IM-ing, Cosmo-reading half, the leaving the through the front doors during the interview, poor participation half. Yes, I did leave during the patient interviews through the front doors, and yes, I did fall asleep momentarily during my small group session. I recognize that these actions were inappropriate, and I am very sorry if they reflected badly upon the class as a result. I am embarrassed and ashamed that I was part of the reason why we were disciplined by email today.

Although I am not trying to make excuses, I would like to explain why I acted the way I did. As you may know (especially since I cannot seem to stop complaining, for which I am also very sorry), I have been sick for the past two weeks. I've been having viral-induced bronchiospasms. Since two Saturdays ago, I’ve taken various cough syrup/cold medication/cold lozenges, azythromycin, albuterol, oral steroids and Advair (the last four were prescribed by a licensed physician).

I have been very medicated for a rather long time. This makes me very sleepy. I have also not been sleeping very much due to studying until 1:30 AM for the past couple days and waking up at 6. I have not been getting this block that easily. Thank god it will be over soon. In addition, I have not been sleeping very well when I do go to sleep. This only adds to the exhaustion. But I should not have been catching up on sleep during our important life-changing discussions about hypothetical patient interviews. My extreme bad.

I also have this wicked hacking cough. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever had the luxury of hearing this auditory slice of heaven, but it feels like I am hacking up a lung. Last Monday I could feel one such cough coming on, and in an attempt not to interrupt the patient interview I left the room momentarily through the front doors. The reason I did this is simple, but stupid.

I didn’t know there were back doors in the classroom.

Seriously.

I’d always entered through the front door to go to class, and it never occurred to me that there were back doors. It was dark. I was hacking a lung. I left through the easiest mode of exit.

Looking back, I recognize that it was not the best way to act and I understand how my actions may have been viewed as disinterested or disrespectful. I apologize to anyone I may have offended in the class as a result of these actions. I can only give you my sincerest regrets and promise to never let it happen again. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. In fact, I already have a plan of treatment figured out.

Step 1) Try to sleep more
Step 2) Buy a Grande Chai from Starbucks every time we have Physical Diagnosis
Step 3) When I need to use the restroom as a direct result of Step 2, either hold it or use the back doors of the classroom to exit

I’m trying to change my ways.

Best,
T. T.

The Far Reaches of the Holocaust

From CNN.com:

CLINTON TOWNSHIP, Michigan (AP) -- Federal authorities freed a former Nazi concentration camp guard after failing to find a country willing to take the 81-year-old man, who had been stripped of his U.S. citizenship.

The U.S. 6th Circuit Court of Appeals in January upheld a decision to revoke Johann Leprich's citizenship.

In September, Leprich's lawyer asked a federal judge to order his client released, citing a 2001 U.S. Supreme Court decision requiring the freeing of those still held for deportation six months after a removal order.

The Justice Department said it released Leprich on Monday because Romania, Hungary and Germany refused to accept him, despite high-level meetings with officials from those countries, the Detroit Free Press reported in its Wednesday editions.

"What country is going to accept an 81-year-old man who is in declining health?" said Leprich's attorney, Joseph McGinness.

Leprich was released to his wife and son, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman Greg Palmore said. He said Leprich must report weekly to ICE and the agency will continue to seek his deportation.

Leprich, an ethnic German born in Romania, joined the Nazi military organization Waffen SS in 1943 and served as a guard at Mauthausen concentration camp in Nazi-occupied Austria, court records say. About 119,000 people were killed at Mauthausen, including political prisoners, Jews, and Soviet, Dutch and Czech prisoners of war.

He immigrated to the U.S. after World War II and became a U.S. citizen in 1958. But he fled to Canada in 1987, shortly before a federal judge moved to revoke his citizenship for hiding his Nazi party membership.

Leprich was arrested in 2003 when authorities found him hiding behind a panel under the basement stairs at his family's home about 20 miles northeast of Detroit.

Likely, there is not an event in modern history thus far that impacted the world like what happened in Nazi Germany. Over 6,000,000 people dead for no reason. Government-sponsored extermination of innocent people on a macro scale...it still boggles the mind. I think it is important for all of us to remember what happened there. The things this man must have done...

The Human Enterprise of Choice...and the Golden Rule

Toddy and I had a great talk today (as we often do) about what choice is. This is a topic I like. I like to explore the interactions of human instinct and higher reasoning. If we walk down the street and have to defecate...we can resist the urge and do it when it is socially acceptable. When a person walks by who is attractive to us we do not try to engage coitus with this person immediately even though our loins may burn :) and we would do anything to... The fullness of this ability seems to be exclusive to humans.

I know many of us are not Christian, but I appreciate C.S. Lewis' writings--not the Sci-Fi stuff...the commentary.

I thought the following was interesting:

Imagine three men who go to war. One has the ordinary
natural fear of danger that any man has and he subdues it by moral effort
and becomes a brave man. Let us suppose that the other two have, as a result
of things in their sub-consciousness, exaggerated, irrational fears, which
no amount of moral effort can do anything about. Now suppose that a
psychoanalyst comes along and cures these two: that is, he puts them both
back in the position of the first man. Well it is just then that the
psychoanalytical problem is over and the moral problem begins. Because, now
that they are cured, these two men might take quite different lines. The
first might say, "Thank goodness I've got rid of all those doo-dahs. Now at
last I can do what I always wanted to do-my duty to the cause of freedom."
But the other might say, "Well, I'm very glad that I now feel moderately
cool under fire, but, of course, that doesn't alter the fact that I'm still
jolly well determined to look after Number One and let the other chap do the
dangerous job whenever I can. Indeed one of the good things about feeling
less frightened is that I can now look after myself much more efficiently
and can be much cleverer at hiding the fact from the others." Now this
difference is a purely moral one and psychoanalysis cannot do anything about
it. However much you improve the man's raw material, you have still got
something else: the real, free choice of the man, on the material presented
to him, either to put his own advantage first or to put it last And this
free choice is the only thing that morality is concerned with.

I think this does an adequate job of separating instinct or abnormal psychology from our ability to choose. That space to move...the opportunity we have to dictate our futures is what I was talking to Todd about. Two individuals who are cured of their analogous mental diseases can still lead very different lives with their newfound mental faculties. It is that fire of individualism that is so important in our species.

Christianity professes (among others) two powerful principles: "Judge not lest ye be judged" (Matthew 7:1-5) and "Love thy neighbor as thyself" (Matthew 22:35-40). You don't have to be remotely Christian to appreciate these principles.

Unless we are wearing the black gown of a judge...we really can't point fingers. We have got our own set of problems that could also be thrown under the microscope of scrutiny. Charity (or the secular version: The Golden Rule) is a powerful idea for all of us.

The divisions in this country are so pronounced. Divisions among people of varying ideologies or lifestyles are equally pronounced. The way I approach these potentially divisive issues are:

(I believe it is important for us to think about these ideas for our clinical interactions with the public)

1) This person has the same opportunities to choose that I do. Their ability to make a so-called "bad choice" (as perceived by me) is JUST AS IMPORTANT as my own ability to make a perceived "right choice."

2) Being accepting and supportive of another individual does not require me to morph into their paradigm and take on their traits. I can maintain my own persona and opinions while interacting with someone very different than me. (i.e. A teenager who is engaging in alcoholism is still loved by the parents despite the undesireable, dangerous behavior.)

3) I should not antagonize others' beliefs. Cordially discussing or debating something is one thing...but someone's hearfelt devotion to a belief system of any kind is not my territory. (Of course their are exceptions: a psychiatrist treating someone who insists on pulling out all their hair, for example.)

4) Despite rigid opinions or ingrained characteristics that I may have, I can always be permeable to new ideas and new ways of thinking. Taking a step back and evaluating our position objectively is always healthy.

5) Personal pride of proving that I am right should never eclipse the potential relationship with the individual. Belief systems or heartfelt opinions are rarely changed in casual debate. A person's own transformation is just that--their own. Conversely, a potential positive interaction and/or friendship is a much more likely occurence and should be the focus of our interactions instead of an unquenchable urge to make people think just like we do.

6) Stigmas, stereotypes, and sarcasm (how's that for literary alliteration?!) put us on a slippery slope.

7) If I feel threatened by someone who is different than me despite a lack of provocation...or if I feel like I have to defend myself though no act of aggression has been made, that reveals a gross inadequacy on my part to interact with others. I should, then, turn the spotlight on myself to address my own issues that would lead me to act this way.

Idealistic? Absolutely.

But I suppose therein lies the poetry of it all. These are the things that were taught to us sitting on the "magic rug" after story time in grade school as our teacher taught us about how to treat others. Life is devilishly cyclical...simplistic lessons in the past still have unparalled potency in our current endeavors.

To come full circle, I guess that's one of the reasons I enjoy my friendship and frequent discussions with Todd, and many others in our class, so much is that we are so different in many ways but the differences are so peripheral and frankly--meaningless. Undoubtedly, the similarities COULD be drowned out by the heated debates or differing opinions...but they never are. Mutual respect and appreciation are bottomless wells that can never expire. Those are two elements that we should all try to fill up our life "gas tanks" with. We will run infinitely longer on those ideas than the alternative fuels of stubbornness, self-indulgence, and personal pride.

Welcome Hottentot...

I see you finally made time for us :)

I saw on your profile that you are a full-time feminist. THE most provoking class of my undergraduate career was a Gender in Politics class taught by a feminist. I would be interested to hear some of your ideas...

Understanding Life

Today I had the opportunity to attend sacrament meeting for Joe's baby's blessing. The last time I attended sacrament meeting was sometime in the 9th grade. It was a nice, peaceful, spiritual experience today -- especially listening to the hymns. Sitting there listening to the testimonies about God and faith, I was reminded of an entry I had written last winter, and I though that I would share.

-------

"...I'd never understood how closely things are connected to one another... We human beings are only a part of something very much larger. When we walk along, we may crush a beetle or simply cause a change in the air so that a fly ends up where it might never have gone otherwise. And if we think of the same example but with ourselves in the role of the insect, and the larger universe in the role we've just played, it's perfectly clear that we're affected every day by forces over which we have no more control than the poor beetle has over our gigantic foot as it descends upon it. What are we to do? We must use whatever methods we can to understand the movement of the universe around us and time our actions so that we are not fighting the currents, but moving with them..." (147).

This is one of my favorite excerpts from Memoirs of a Geisha. You know a book is good when it not only paints a mesmerizing story using rich imagery and beautifully-crafted words, but also if those words provoke thought, if those words resonate in your mind for days afterward, and you keep reflecting on that meaning, and start drawing connections between those words and situations in your life. Does a larger force exist to move us along this path that we call life, making events happen for a reason, or do events happen as mere coincidences, and we, as humans, innately form connections between certain events to try and make sense of this world? I know this is a question that can be easily answered by 9 out of 10 Americans who believe in a place called Heaven.

It's interesting how events unfold each day. My expertise is to overanalyze.. think everything to the point of exhaustion. The past few days has been no different. Last night, after watching Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind (which is an absolutely amazing movie that made me cry... I love it, and, like the book that I just finished reading, it also provokes thought and carries meaning on many different levels..), I laid in bed and thought about recent events in my life -- recent conversations that I've had with friends, things that I have watched/read/or heard, and my relationships with people. I found myself in another familiar situation of thinking about the meaning of life... about how we are all connected by the same problems...

So this is going to sound pessimistic, but here it goes anyway... Why do people run away from their problems rather than facing them and trying to work them out? Why must people build a facade rather than letting their true feelings show through? Why must we sometimes act selfishly to pursue our own desires? Why do we act like jerks when we can instead be kind, or at least civil toward each other? Is it because it's easier to do so? Why, why, why??? And what would we be without memories (like Joel Barrish and Clementine in the movie)? I could only imagine what desolate lives we would lead... So many questions, no simple answers...

What exactly is the purpose that we -- all living creatures -- serve on Earth? There are plenty of joys in life. So much to love and too much to experience in a lifetime. However, why must we also suffer through difficulties, whether it be hardships of work or school, poverty, sickness, abuse, addictions, drama/heartache/confusion in relationships (romantic or not), fears, loss, etc? One explanation is, in order to experience and appreciate the joys of life, we must also know what is suffering. A fish wouldn't know what wet was, if there was no dry, right? A world of dichotomies is perhaps a good thing. But if this explanation weren't valid, what explanation would be? I have learned quite a few interpretations during the past semester in a world religions class... Which explanation, then, is it?

By default from the mother country, my parents were/are Buddhist. Upon arrival to the United States as an immigrant in 1980, my dad joined his sponsor in becoming a member of the LDS church. My mom, after meeting my dad, followed. At one point, they stopped attending Sunday services. With conversations that I have had with my parents, I'm certain that they ceased going church because they ceased believing everything that they had learned. My parents never followed the LDS religion strictly, nor do they follow Buddhism strictly after leaving the Church. They do follow something called ancestral worship, which is more like a pagan tradition. It's not worship as you think, but more of an appreciation and remembrance of those who have passed away. We do pray to our ancestor's spirits and ask for their blessings for our family and friends, ask them to look over us in aspects of our lives.... Other than that, there are no real answer to my questions here...

My parents believed that our involvement in religion would keep us out of trouble. My sisters and I attended the LDS church for a good number of years in our youth, and my older sister and I were baptized at a young age. Looking back, I'm not so sure that I fully comprehended the meaning of everything, nor do I remember believing what I learned... When Cindy and I reached high school, we also stopped going to Sunday services...

So did I ever find my answers there? Probably not... If you ask Cindy, she would give a lengthy answer about the purpose of life, all that points to her agnostic beliefs... Wendy? She's too absorbed in the stresses of being an adolescent to think about these matters... at least, from what I can see... Me? I'm still unsure... I guess I'm still searching... Continually thinking... Maybe someday, I will come to an understanding of life, like Nitta Sayuri...

------

The End.

How Love Works

I found this quite interesting...


Staring Into Each Other's Eyes Professor Arthur Aron, of the State University of New York at Stonybrook, has studied what happens when people fall in love and has found that simply staring into each other's eyes has tremendous impact.

In an experiment he conducted, Professor Aron put strangers of the opposite sex together for 90 minutes and had them discuss intimate details about themselves. He then had them stare into each other's eyes for four minutes without talking. The results? Many of the subjects felt a deep attraction for their partner after the experiment, and two even ended up getting married six months later.

More about How Love Works @ http://people.howstuffworks.com/love.htm

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I think this experiment has some confounding variables... How is the experimenter able to deduce which factor contributed to the partners' deep attraction for each other? Was it because they had discussed intimate details about themselves for 90 minutes? Or was it soley based on the fact that the partners stared into each others' eyes for four minutes? What about partners who shared intimate details, but did not stare into each other's eyes? and vice-versa?

So who wants to try this experiment with me?

For your mountain enjoyment . . .

This weekend and next (Oct. 14,15 & 21, 22) are affectionatly known as customer appreciation weekends at Snowbird, yes so you can ride the tram up between 11a-5p and see a spectacular view with/out someone else with a donation of 1 or more cans of food that benefit the Utah Food Bank. About 40 degrees at the top, so dress up :)

Marimba Ponies.....

Cruel, cruel irony

"In 2004, the GOP helped get President George W. Bush re-elected by turning out the base, especially the Christian right, to vote for state bans on gay marriage. In 2006, the GOP may lose control of Congress because it didn't try harder to investigate a gay congressman who was also a sexual predator."

-Newsweek

did anyone else start seeing this last night?

"I Want it That Way"

dooobeee dooo...

study break!

i don't know if you guys have seen this, but it always makes me laugh. =)

Strangely provocative terminology

Mons Pubis
Liquor Folliculi
Glans Penis
Genital tubercle
Labia...just labia
Urogenital Sinus

What did Bartholin do to get a gland named after him in the labia minora?!?

My day as a scientologist and why I think Rob Thomas is Sub-par at best

This was taken from my manuscript of an anthropological study of the church of scientology.

One sunday last November:

Me: "Hello"
Dot: "Hello"
Me: "Hello"
Dot: "Hello"
Me: "Hello"
Dot: "Hello"
Me: "Hello"
Dot: "Hello"............continued at naseum 10 times for 3 minutes each time. THE DOT!!! It was in front of me, behind me, above me, below me, in my mind's eye and outside. I was also in all these places. Of course, this was not me, or the mere thought of myself but my spiritual being....Apparently thinking of oneself cannot be taken as just that but has to be an actual entity.

My dot and I were easily bored at the two syllables thrown back and forth at one another and soon became irritable. Our "hello" transformed from mere pleasantry to a gruff and biting greeting. Our voices lowered to baratone levels. My dot would morph into varying shades of red and eventually showed his gleaming jagged teeth which proceeded to bite the very spiritual arm of my spiritual being. I did not feel it but I was steaming and grapped my little spherical friend by his non existant neck and sqeeezed.

Our efforts were futile.....we apologized to one another....YES "sorry" not "hello!" Oooooh, how I longed for another colloquialism. My dot was magenta with excitement, she even began to sparkle. Her jagged teeth were replaced by a full lipped smile.. My spiritual being even changed into something more formal. We asked each other about the weather, one another's health, the state of Iraq and a book we had just recently finished by Victor Frankl indeed!

Peace fell upon me....no more energy being "sludged" about. Now I had to stomp my feet about and begin with the painful "Hello" routine with the gentlement sitting next to me. Like Vicki to Robot, his replies were monotone and every utternace fell from the same plastic smile. I may even say he did not blink.

Repetition......simplicity.....colloquialisms...anectodal accounts of spiritual being encounters. Not even a name, place or date was given to these accounts, yet, this was enough to engage all of these members and to keep them smiling. Much like how Rob Thomas's songs, with there reaccuring themes and blasted repitition keeps the minds of his listeners numb as they sing along to yet another song about his chronic ill health. And he much like Scientology, may be the best phenomenon ever in its class. Why is he so upset anyway, he is married to a super model after all. Opiates... one day, may I be as spiritual and deep as a Scientologistic Rob Thomas.


Author's note: Sorry if I offend any of those Scientologist Rob Thomas Fans, and I know many of you are out there. This work was inspired by Alisa and Rachel, for accompanying me during the Sacred Hello Session, and the shear un-profundity of Rob Thomas. And yes, he was my angry little dot, that merely said "hello."

NyQuil, the only alcohol I can legally drink

Yesterday, right as I was getting ready to leave the anatomy lab after a hardcore round of studying with some brilliant fellow classmates, I realized something- I was sick.

Now, I had been trying to deny this for the past couple of days. I don't get sick. I shouldn't get sick. But driving back to my parents house in Bountiful, I could not deny the fact that I was insanely tired, couldn't focus, was running a fever, had a wicked headache, stuffy nose, and lots of other symptoms that will not be described in detail out of courtesy to all those reading.

I am sick the same week I have five tests in medical school. The irony of this is not lost on me.

I mean seriously. Seriously?

But besides my annoyance at being in my present situation, I also thought about how illness (and yes, I know, a cold is not exactly a major illness) reminds us of our vulnerability, whether it be a cold, or the flu, or even something as random as dengue fever. And although I think we all think about illness in relation to helping other people, have any of us given serious thought to how illness might affect ourselves?

I wonder how being a physician will affect my decisions about my health, or that of my family. Will it greatly benefit me to have the specialized knowledge about exactly what's going on in my body? Or will it only serve to frustrate me? How will it complicate decisions made about kids or loved ones?

Anyways, after finally getting home without being pulled over (which was definitely a feat as I was pretty off), I tried to study for a couple hours. But then I gave up and took NyQuil. Now, it's been awhile since I last took NyQuil and I realized a couple new things.

1) Still tastes as bad as it did when I was four.

2) It's 10% alcohol, which makes it 20 proof.

So apparently, while I cannot be served alcohol in a public establishment for another five years, there is no problem with NyQuil. Granted, I would have to drink the entire bottle to feel the effects, and quite frankly, it's not worth it. If only they could make it taste better somehow...

What do you see?

You may see a pofessional securing his position on the corporate ladder. I see extremely convenient birth control. Thanks Chi-Bin, you're tops.

Life changes...

(playing on iTunes: You Look So Fine - Garbage)

So...I am paying $20,000 per year, staying up late studying vaginas, anal canals, and other various sphincters... looking at histological pornography (Justin--pure genuis) ...my wife encourages me to do it... I enjoy doing it... There has been some significant modulation in my persona recently...

I'm going to bed dudes...see you bright and early. Ugh...

By the way, someone should make a catchy jingle about the transformations that the paramesonephric duct goes through to form various structures...you know, to help us all remember. You could use the music from The Wizard of Oz or Motley Crue...or...

Goodnight.

Iwa-socked-me with his tunes...

Justin, you have changed my life with Sigur Ros. (That's kind of an exaggeration...but it should manifest my excitement over this band) They weren't at the top of the list to try 'til Heidi mentioned it this weekend. I busted it out and have listened to it all weekend. This is the type of stuff I like...the narrative style music. It says something. Its not contained by popular trends. It just is what it is.

You would like Mum. They are also from Iceland. And of course Bjork. Her song Unravel off of Homogenic is what will echo in the corridors of heaven.

I am a happy man. Of stimuli that humans are receptive to, music is my second favorite. My very favorite is...well...that should be obvious. I mean, I asked Christine where the G Spot was in front of the class...

German organist playing

tonight 8p Cathedral of the Madeleine (331 E. S. Temple) . . . free

Evil Empire Implodes....Again

The most hyped and expensive baseball roster in the history of the game has failed in the playoffs again and I'm thrilled about it. Watching the Yankees lose brings me almost as much joy as watching my beloved Dodgers win (they didn't, Mets swept 'em...always next year). Anyway, back to the Empire. Despite the best regular season record in the bigs, despite having a payroll of nearly $200 million (about $80 million more than the next closest team, the Red Sox, and 15 times more than the Florida Marlins who have the smallest '06 payroll) and a roster that has 42 All-Star appearances collectively and it still didn't matter. On Saturday, 23-year old Jeremy Bonderman took the bump for the Tigers and absolutely shut down the best offensive team ever assembled. It was an inspiring performance.

My least favorite player in professional sports, Alex Rodriguez, (a.k.a. A-Rod, K-Rod, E-Rod) has pulled a post-season Houdini for the third year in a row. Steinbrenner must be thrilled that he's paid A-Rod about $75 million dollars over the last three seasons to put up MVP numbers during the regular season, and then suck in the playoffs when it counts. It's hilarious.

If you have to ask why this is important, or relevant, you've clearly never known a die-hard Yankee fan. Cheering for the Yanks is like cheering for the house in Black Jack. Who does that? If you're reading this thinking 'I don't like baseball', I say learn more about it. The only people that I've ever known that don't like it are those that don't appreciate the complexities of the game (I'm certainly not an expert, but the more you know about it the more you'll like it).

To summarize my feelings from this weekend, disliking baseball is un-American, and the Yankees are stupid and I'm glad they fell apart....again.

For those "muse"ing . . .

"Good night-to every little that you sleep tight- may it hold you through the winter of a long night . . ."

Name that midnight tune... (Soooo easy)

"Glaciers melting in the dead of night and the superstar's sucked into the supermassive..."

This is a test to see who (else) is supermassive cool.

H.

Movie Theater...FINALLY!

Yeah, so between the child and the Medical School commitments...its been a while since we went to the theater. We saw The Illusionist tonight. I am not a huge Edward Norton fan (I did like American History X) but I really liked this show. It is not your everyday drama. It has a good dose of comedy--surprisingly--and great cinematography. This one keeps you guessing until the end. I recommend it. But, then again we saw it for free with some passes we had...so if you pay...it may not be as good. I mean, free movies are ALWAYS better!

I'm feeling more like this. . . .

My deepest apologies if this is your dad. . . . . . .

anyone feeling this?

Current status

My butt's asleep, pelvic osteology can kiss my butt, BUT I love medical school.

something to ponder

So we all know that the hypochondrium is the area below the costal margin in the abdominal region. So I pose a question to all who care: where does the term "hypochondriac" orginate??? The first person who discovers the TRUE answer to this probing question shall receive a virtual hug.

more rainy study day

Soundtrack to a Cold, Rainy Study Day

Surprise-- I'm sitting at my desk, drinking my coffee too quickly, and trying to learn me some histology. Here's my perfect study soundtrack to this moody weather morning:

Frames: For the Birds
Frames: Burn the Maps
Damien Rice: O
Sigur Ros: ( )
Nick Cave: And No More Shall We Part

If you're looking for some good stuff, that'd be it right there.

H.

Which Face Are You?

On 'Hating' Men

I wrote this one a while back and was inspired by a single question I often am asked....just having some fun..

Hate, like its fraternal twin, love, are words used too freely and possibly unduly...maybe. To detest or to abhore, such verbage implies malicious intent to the object of 'in'affection. Such consumption and absorption in the intent may breed irrational and extraoridinary behavior. Looking at our lovely twin: one definition of many (words, words, words) may involve feeling of intense affections, attachment, fervorous amour toward the object of affection. Consumption and absorption also, a possible consequence. What, if at all, makes this 'pair' a reality? These twins, ideals, forces, nouns, are not to be recognized by science (at least using our current and crude tools for measuring). While many hypotheses have been put forth, as well as theories created by all of us, the scientific method has been abandoned so where is the pith and marrow behind our theories? The observations, the experimentation followed by the careful calculations, the analysis? No results, no conclusions, but theory? Trial and error does not seem to work on these twins either, as painful recollection may reveal. Even the consequence or supposed correlate of this pair cannot be adequately measured, as learned from Prof. Kinsey.

The Twins, possibly another unique anomaly of the cultured primate.

The "Hating Primate"....or loving....or nothing.

Consciousness has duped me again. Living on Science Alone may be my vulnerability.

Temptations

As in J-bone's case, somebody called me out today for "not having posted a blog yet." So as I sit here at the coffee shop, trying to make sense of the microorganization of the liver acinus, I decided to post something from a blog that I had written back in September of '04.

Have you ever done anything that you thought you would never do? Then regretted it afterward? Don't get me wrong, I don't live my life as a walking regret, but I do learn from my mistakes, and try to act differently in the future.

----------

It was like a scene from a movie. The guys were all sprawled out on the couches--relaxed, yet eager to take their turn. A sweet, burnt aroma filled the air. The contraption sat atop the coffee table. It looked like a very large genie lamp. The pink base seemed to glow as the water boiled inside. The shiny, golden trimmings added an antique touch. The hose was being passed around. Each guy took a deep breath, puffed out clouds of fluffy white smoke, then passed the hose to the next guy--waiting in anticipation. They said that they were left with a cappuccino taste afterward...They called the contraption a hookah...

I was drawn in by the unique-looking device...It was like I was a 5-year-old girl again, stuck at the Barbie isle at Toys 'R Us, yearning for more barbies, for more accessories, for a Barbie convertible, a Barbie beach house... I wanted it all... Yeah, I wanted to try it....a hookah....that's what it was...

I had told myself that I would not do any further damage to my liver for a while....at least not until October, when one of my best friends turns 21. So far, so good...it's been more than two weeks!

So instead of doing myself some liver damage, what did I do this weekend?.....Oh, that's right!....I went and did some lung damage... The guys passed the hose to me, and I pushed it to my sister. Here, you try it first. No, you first. I tried it. The first time, it burned the back of my throat as I exhaled. But I did taste the cappuccino. Is it suppossed to burn the back of my throat? One guy replied, no, that's the purpose of the water. So they took off one of the coals....There, it shouldn't be as strong now.....What an interesting experience...

cognitive dissonance: psychological conflict that results from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously....aka unpleasant psychological tension when you are doing something that is not in-line with what you believe/know/feel

I often wonder:

--why do people engage in unprotected activites that might lead them to acquiring life-threatening problems as HIV, STD's, Hep B, etc?

--why do people drive when they know that they are impaired and that they may damage some innocent person's life?

--why do people steal/lie/cheat when they know that it's immoral and that they may get caught?

--why do people not excercise, even though they are concerned about their health, and they know that exercise is good for them?

--why do people overindulge themselves when they are aware of problems such as obesity, high cholesterol, heart attacks, etc?

All are examples of cognitive dissonance

So I know it was only once, but why did I do something that I know is bad for my body?

I simply don't know. Perhaps it was the unique-looking contraption....or the guys' relaxed, pleasurable composures...or the mood of the time....or the fact that everyone was taking a puff...I just don't know.

Will I ever try the hookah again? I want to say no. I want to align my behaviors with my knowledge and beliefs. But will I have the willpower? Let's hope so.

----------

Just so you know, there was no mj in the hookah -- just flavored tobacco.

Sweaty Crotch?

So, J-Bone just discovered the medical condition that afflicts many medical students. It is called Hot Lap. It is characterized by sweaty crotch and stiff knees. We have determined by our keen deductions that it is caused by the churning eletronic innards of our Apple MacBooks perched atop our femurs. Yes, I know, how did we come up with this epidemiological discovery? Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius.

Unrelated Thoughts from an Unquiet Mind

Since I was officially called out for being absent on our little blog, I thought I'd submit some random thoughts that I've had lately.

First, anyone notice that the prices at the pump are down about $.50 from this summer's peak of about $3? Interesting that the decrease has come as November approaches. Politicians....more like magicians. I love them.

Second, there is nothing wrong w/ mustaches. Typically the mustache is a social fauxpas for dudes under 40 (and unless it's a really thick pushbroom, it's a questionable choice for men over 40) but I think it's time for this to change. I decided yesterday to shave my beard and leave only the handlebar and already I've been mistreated for it. This morning as I was sprinting to catch the morning train, the conductor (if that's what you call the people that drive Trax) waited for literally everyone in sight to board the train--except me. He took off as I was frantically pushing the button to open the door. I saw him looking in his rearview mirror in disgust as I pounded on the button. His disapproving stare seemed to shout "F you and your mustache" as he and his little train sped away. It is officially on!

I'm so outraged by this mustache mishap that I'm going to shave the handles and leave just the "molestache" portion. For those of you unfamiliar w/ the term, the molestache is the simple upper lip sweater. It's the mustache that doesn't extend much below the corner of your mouth--it's easily the most unattractive form of facial hair and hence the most awesome. Mine will be particularly offensive because it's Larry Bird-blonde and only visible in the right light. I'm thinking that on Monday morning I'll wait for that same conductor to pull into the station and walk right up to him, proudly stroke my molestache and then challenge him to a tickle-fight just to weird him out. I'll let you know how it goes.

Gentlemen, mark my words the day will soon come when men will again look to the mustache w/ fear and envy and women w/ uncontrollable lust. I invite you to join the movement early.

Third, I'd like to issue a fiber challenge. As future physicians, we're obligated to do all we can to promote the health and well-being of the our patients, and the public in general. I'd like to invite anyone who has never tried it, to buy some bulk-forming fiber. Americans in general don't have enough fiber in their diet. Studies have shown that high fiber diets promote colorectal health and decrease the risk of cancers in this region of the GI tract. So pick any brand--Metamucil, Citrucil, or my personal favorite, Kirkland Signature (Costco brand--it's much cheaper)--and try it for a week. Mix up a little fiber cocktail after a large meal and choke it down. Yes, it tastes like a nasty glass of Tang-flavored sand, but it's worth it--trust me. For anyone worried about cost, I promise that what you spend on the fiber you will make up on a decreased Charmin bill. For those of you who can't quite conquer the social stigmas associated w/ this product, there are ways around it. Self-check out lines at the supermarket are a good place to start. Get a week under your belt and I'm confident that you'll be converted. Once you are, the best way to combat the merciless teasings of naysayers (and they will come) is to issue them a similar fiber challenge to see if they have the intestinal fortitude to respond. Flip it on them and you'll see quickly how uncomfortable they become. Some people simply can't handle a little colon-blow and I don't think it's inappropriate to mock them for it. I hope none of you will be too narrow to try this.


Finally, the Dodgers' offense officially sucks. They're a teaser team every year. Don't commit to being a fan unless you're prepared for a lifetime of masochism...or would it be sadism? Either way, being a fan is torture.

How's that Mons Pewbis? Did I find your G. Scott?

Pewbis Poll

You are banished to a desert island and can only have one album to take with you. Which one would it be and why? (No greatest hits albums)

As for me, I would have to take Tears for Fears' Elemental. I think Roland Orzabal has the best voice in rock music. His vocal clarity and depth are unmatched. His lyrics are quirky and unconventional. His music is one-of-a-kind.

"Break it down again" is one of the best rock songs ever written. I had never heard rhythmic ideas like these before. The harmony is wonderful. And what other song do you know that talks about "Moses on a motorbike?"

"Fish out of water" is another favorite. I get the feeling it is aimed at a pompous record exec. "Brian Wilson said" is obviously about the Beach Boys' frontman. The spacey, etherial guitar solo towards the end is a highlight. "Goodnight song" seems to be written about a concert mishap.

"Dog's a best friend's dog?" What kind of title is that? But, "this bitch could do some harm, baby!"

The title track, "Elemental" has one of the coolest beginnings.

I LOVE TEARS FOR FEARS! Heidi has seen them live TWICE and I haven't. I resent her for it. But Heidi is still my friend.

Anyway, let us all know what album you would choose and why. I am always looking to broaden my musical horizons.

I am having such a hard time focusing on my studies tonight!!!!! AAAAARRRRRRGH!

Thuker

When's J-Bone gonna show up?



And Who is the REAL J-bone?

An Opportunity Lost: The Bobbitt

I'm plagued with regret. I feel the pain in my heart. I'm hurting, people, hurting. I just can't shake this... Why? I didn't get to perform The Bobbitt yesterday.

This isn't a sophisticated discussion of politics or history. Leave it to me to discuss the petty, the immature, the ridiculous. This post is all about weiner. (Can I say "weiner" on this blog?) I mean no disrespect to our body donors, truly I don't; I hope no one finds this offensive, because it's certainly not my intention to offend. As medical students we're given many opportunities that others will never have, an important one being the ability to explore human anatomy through the dissection of cadavers. I take my responsibility seriously, and I'm very grateful to the donors for their generosity.

But I'm also silly sometimes. And I had really looked forward to cutting off the weiner in lab because seriously, people-- when will I EVER get the chance to do that again?

Imagine if I had been able to do it. Beyond the fascinating intellectual experience itself, I could have later bragged about it at cocktail parties, or used it in my introduction when prompted to "give your name and say something interesting about yourself." My name is Hyperhidrosis and once I cut off a weiner.

But no, not I. Can't say it!

Restroom Reflections

It is not currently socially acceptable for a man to be in a the women's bathroom/locker room. The women, likewise, is not welcome in the men's room.

A simplified reason for this may be because the women's body is different than the man's. It is likely argued that they are not welcome because the woman's body is the object of sexual fixation for many men. The man is not welcome in the restrooms or locker rooms to prevent any...awkward situations. Any old guy may stare (in varying amounts) at the disrobed body of a woman. It doesn't mean he is a pervert. Instinct. Advertising thrives on the exposed human body. Frankly, it just catches our eye. A woman with a beer held close to her cleavage is a successful ad. Likewise, a woman disrobing on the side of the road would stop traffic. Obviously, some stare longer than others.

Separate restrooms/locker rooms attempt to remedy the socially unacceptable situation of a person being viewed by another in a sexual way without that person reciprocating.

Many women would likely stare (in varying amounts) at a man's naked body if they shared a locker room. While they are not identical to their male counterparts, the same general arguments could apply.

Homosexuals also may stare (in varying amounts) at the bodies of disrobed individuals in their view...just like their heterosexual counterparts. It doesn't mean they are necessarily perverts either. Instinct. The difference would be that they may be actually sharing a restroom and locker room with the gender that they are sexually attracted too.

Dead Elmer

Julie should blog because she says she thinks it's stupid. I think she's afraid of how much she'll like it! And yes Julie, there ARE people listening...

You want an A?

If you listen to the folowing while you study...you WILL improve your test scores:

Davyan Cowboy - Boards of Canada
They Live in the Sky - William Orbit
Hot Beach - Interior
Rickover's Dream - Michael Hedges
Fanfare for the Common Man - Aaron Copland
Ancient Legend - David Arkenstone
Wedding Rain - Liz Story

I didn't realize...

I read this morning that the native Israeli Jews resented, for a time, the Holocaust survivors. They were seen as "Lambs to the slaughter" while the Zionists like Ben Hurion were seen as brave and heroic. The holocaust was not talked about (outside of the heroics in the Warsaw Ghetto) in schools and many of the graduates from Israeli high schools were never informed about the magnitude of what happened in the 1940's.

Once the trial of the Nazi Adolf Eichmann occured in 1967, many Jews came out of the woodwork to testify against him. Only then were the heroics of Holocaust Jews noticed. Then the attitude went to the other end of the spectrum.

The Jews were bombarded with facts about the Holocaust. They were even given quizzes (in the Air Force) about how many Jews died at certain concentration camps. The Holocaust was then turned into (and currently is) the social foundation upon which Judaism is based worldwide--despite different interpretations of what the faith actually is (i.e. orthodox vs. reform).

(taken from From Beirut to Jerusalem by Thomas Friedman)

First post

We can change how the blog looks....what it says....I just wanted to get something up. I do like the red though....