An Opportunity Lost: The Bobbitt

I'm plagued with regret. I feel the pain in my heart. I'm hurting, people, hurting. I just can't shake this... Why? I didn't get to perform The Bobbitt yesterday.

This isn't a sophisticated discussion of politics or history. Leave it to me to discuss the petty, the immature, the ridiculous. This post is all about weiner. (Can I say "weiner" on this blog?) I mean no disrespect to our body donors, truly I don't; I hope no one finds this offensive, because it's certainly not my intention to offend. As medical students we're given many opportunities that others will never have, an important one being the ability to explore human anatomy through the dissection of cadavers. I take my responsibility seriously, and I'm very grateful to the donors for their generosity.

But I'm also silly sometimes. And I had really looked forward to cutting off the weiner in lab because seriously, people-- when will I EVER get the chance to do that again?

Imagine if I had been able to do it. Beyond the fascinating intellectual experience itself, I could have later bragged about it at cocktail parties, or used it in my introduction when prompted to "give your name and say something interesting about yourself." My name is Hyperhidrosis and once I cut off a weiner.

But no, not I. Can't say it!