Temptations

As in J-bone's case, somebody called me out today for "not having posted a blog yet." So as I sit here at the coffee shop, trying to make sense of the microorganization of the liver acinus, I decided to post something from a blog that I had written back in September of '04.

Have you ever done anything that you thought you would never do? Then regretted it afterward? Don't get me wrong, I don't live my life as a walking regret, but I do learn from my mistakes, and try to act differently in the future.

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It was like a scene from a movie. The guys were all sprawled out on the couches--relaxed, yet eager to take their turn. A sweet, burnt aroma filled the air. The contraption sat atop the coffee table. It looked like a very large genie lamp. The pink base seemed to glow as the water boiled inside. The shiny, golden trimmings added an antique touch. The hose was being passed around. Each guy took a deep breath, puffed out clouds of fluffy white smoke, then passed the hose to the next guy--waiting in anticipation. They said that they were left with a cappuccino taste afterward...They called the contraption a hookah...

I was drawn in by the unique-looking device...It was like I was a 5-year-old girl again, stuck at the Barbie isle at Toys 'R Us, yearning for more barbies, for more accessories, for a Barbie convertible, a Barbie beach house... I wanted it all... Yeah, I wanted to try it....a hookah....that's what it was...

I had told myself that I would not do any further damage to my liver for a while....at least not until October, when one of my best friends turns 21. So far, so good...it's been more than two weeks!

So instead of doing myself some liver damage, what did I do this weekend?.....Oh, that's right!....I went and did some lung damage... The guys passed the hose to me, and I pushed it to my sister. Here, you try it first. No, you first. I tried it. The first time, it burned the back of my throat as I exhaled. But I did taste the cappuccino. Is it suppossed to burn the back of my throat? One guy replied, no, that's the purpose of the water. So they took off one of the coals....There, it shouldn't be as strong now.....What an interesting experience...

cognitive dissonance: psychological conflict that results from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously....aka unpleasant psychological tension when you are doing something that is not in-line with what you believe/know/feel

I often wonder:

--why do people engage in unprotected activites that might lead them to acquiring life-threatening problems as HIV, STD's, Hep B, etc?

--why do people drive when they know that they are impaired and that they may damage some innocent person's life?

--why do people steal/lie/cheat when they know that it's immoral and that they may get caught?

--why do people not excercise, even though they are concerned about their health, and they know that exercise is good for them?

--why do people overindulge themselves when they are aware of problems such as obesity, high cholesterol, heart attacks, etc?

All are examples of cognitive dissonance

So I know it was only once, but why did I do something that I know is bad for my body?

I simply don't know. Perhaps it was the unique-looking contraption....or the guys' relaxed, pleasurable composures...or the mood of the time....or the fact that everyone was taking a puff...I just don't know.

Will I ever try the hookah again? I want to say no. I want to align my behaviors with my knowledge and beliefs. But will I have the willpower? Let's hope so.

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Just so you know, there was no mj in the hookah -- just flavored tobacco.